Have you ever felt the love of the Father? Not just known it, not just sensed it but, actually felt it. Like the comfort of a fleece lined blanket pressing into your skin, you feel weighed by it, covering you completely. The warmth of the total saturation of God’s love is not oppressive but, it is ever-present, not easily ignored. There have been moments when I have lifted my eyes to the heavens, soaked in tears, lips grasping for the words to say “Thank You.” My humanity makes it impossible for me to articulate my love towards Him. Maybe because there seems to be no word to explain it or maybe because as vast as my love towards Him seems to stretch my chest to the point of breaking it does not compare in any way to the unadulterated waves of His love towards me.
You cannot explain it unless you have lived it. The feeling you have to have been pulled from the suffocating depths of sin into the marvelous light of Christ’s redemptive love. Your sin clung to every part of your soul like the smeared, pig-pen scented muddy fingerprints of a Prodigal son. And still, He pursued us. You know the feeling, it seemed that there was nowhere you could turn where He wasn’t present, wooing you, calling you, entreating you to “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). Your testimony is tattooed on your grace covered heart, “I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.” (Psalm 139:7-8)
Like a merry-go-round, your life spun you in circles turning the faces of the crowd into one sickeningly swirl of madness, deceit, evil, and perversion. But your eyes seemed to catch Him on every turn. Drawn to find Him again you spun your head searching for Him like a lost child frantically searching for the familiar face of their mother in the crowd.
When I recognized Him, my heart shouted like the voice of John the Baptist, “…Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.” (John 1:29) He was there for me; I just knew it. He heard the cry of my soul, the one I could not voice for fear that there would be no answer. The cry of my soul that wanted only to rest. Rest in the uncompromising assurance of steadfast love. Rest in the unchanging nature of trustworthiness. In the love of Christ, I have found a love safe enough to crawl into and turn my face from the world and feel protected.
His love, the unwavering, unmatched, unending love of God pursued me until I could no longer escape. My greatest joy, my most treasured testimony is that when I was no more worthy to be loved than a speck of dust, Christ pursued me with His love, changed me with His grace, and saved me with His blood. I love Him.